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Hi.

 

solitude

solitude

Why being alone, when you hate being alone is important

You have to experience the feeling of "this sucks." It may be the first five minutes, the first week, or....longer. One day that feeling is going to go away. You're going to wake up and you'll be at peace with the left side of the bed being frozen. 

I'm not quite there yet. Im still experiencing everything that sucks about being alone. I wake up already rolling my eyes, and pep talking myself. I know that I cannot enjoy anyone else's company, if I cannot appreciate being alone. Thats the feeling Im trying to get back. 

Being alone is important because
 - you can sing along to the sappy spotify playlists filled with guilty pleasures
- you have all the time in the world to figure out your own thoughts (OK obvious, but I've learned more about myself in 2 weeks than I have in 22 years)
- You literally have ALL the time to take care of yourself. (I celebrate being able to get out of bed at this point, getting dressed + 5 points.) Small victories are still victories. 
- Cooking for one is an important skill
- It shows you who your real friends are - the ones who come over just to let you cry over shitty coffee.
- You gain will power and confidence
- You learn that it is perfectly ok to miss someone & its not a crime to admit that
- You realize that the way you think of yourself is how others will think of you

I promise myself to be constantly full of love, good intentions, and an eagerness to progress.
I am whole.
It is not selfish to take time for myself.
I cannot settle for anything less than I feel I want/need.
I trust the timing of my life.
Its okay to be hurt and confused
And its okay to not be okay. 

Being alone doesn't mean your'e lonely. Being alone doesn't mean you have to be silent. Being alone has made me so loud.

when you play your cards right...

when you play your cards right...