when you play your cards right...
At what point do you shut off the Mayday Parade playlist off and get your shit together?
- I might never know that answer.
Im not sure which is worse, not having it together, or everyone thinking that you do...when you don't.
When you play your cards right, you can still lose.
When you wake up wanting to take a nap, it is time to reevaluate.
For me, this means.... well I don't know. Im working on it. My life depends on the second cup of coffee, double texting my friends 2,000 miles away because i'm struggling hard and I need attention, and to be honest, my pin board of inspirational shit that i'd like to live by. The constant reminders that I get via text everyday that i'm brave, i'm OK, and i'm not alone, gives me life while I literally feel dead inside.
For about 5 minutes a day I read my horoscope, make dramatic decisions about my life, change Mayday to Martin Grarrix, and empower my god damn self. I tell myself that its OK not to have it together, and that ill get there. Baby steps. I guess. It is a cycle. A cycle of thinking i'm a queen who is powered by love and is only filled with good intentions and self love, and then taking a nap, waking up, and feeling like a stupid idiot.
You can choose your own cards every day. Today I choose to be authentic af. I choose to admit that there are a lot of things that I don't know that I need to figure out. I choose to admit that i need more attention than usual. I choose not to pretend that I have it together, but instead I admit to being an unorganized, unmotivated, mess.
The first step in getting your shit together, is admitting that you don't have your shit together.